Thursday, May 23, 2013

Grace Abounds

 
Coming into the presence of God when I know my sin has gotten me in more trouble than I care to acknowledge or admit can be such an intimidating time. Knowing he already knows the mess I've created and knowing he expects me to confess my sin is something I would rather run from. I come to that moment of decision - Do I give it to Jesus or hold on to it all by myself?

In that moment of surrender I am always shocked and amazed. I can come to Him so beat up, yet feel loved and built up in His presence. I'm learning more and more that the Bible is truth and that when it says, "there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus" that this is exactly what it means. God doesn't shake his finger at me and tell me I'm a failure, he doesn't give up on me or turn his back towards me. Instead, he lovingly corrects me and puts my feet back on the right path.

He Understands!

So, the next time I have royally messed up there is no need to be afraid of coming to Jesus. His, is a throne of Grace!!



Monday, October 22, 2012

Stats!?

I always enjoy pulling out my running stats from past races to see how I've done and to see if I've gotten stronger and faster. It's so cool to look back and see how it used to take me at least 45 minutes to run 3 miles and now I can get 3 miles done in 28 minutes. It's also pretty cool to see how I used to not be able to run a mile without thinking I would die and now I can run 13 miles. It has taken lots of time and intent devotion to improve the way I have. However, running isn't the subject of my post today but the illustration of it really drives a point and opens up my eyes to what I've been neglecting.

I've only been a runner for 3 years and if I've improved from one mile to being able to run 13 in that amount of time and I take and apply that same thought to my life spiritually I should definitely be further along spiritually than what I am.

What kind of growth have I made spiritually in the 19 years I've been a Christian? How many people have I led to Christ in the past 19 years? How many times have I've gone out of my way to serve others in the past 19 years? If I'm going to be honest with you, the stats are not looking so great. And for that I am ashamed. We should be able to look back at our Christian journey and see growth. We are not meant to stay the same. Christ means for us to grow, mature, and become more and more like Him as the days go on.

I Peter 2:2, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation."

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Better Than I Used to Be

I tend to take the privilege of prayer for granted or completely underestimate it. It's the one place I can say absolutely anything I want to and the one listening can take it and understand exactly what I'm trying to say. Heck, I don't even know what I'm saying some times but my God always knows and is able to put words behind my moanings. So why do I neglect prayer since it's the one place where I can let it all go?

Sadly for me the answer is, vulnerability and pride. I don't like being vulnerable (I'm sure you've heard me say this more than once). And secondly, pride - I like to feel like I can handle anything that comes my way with absolutely no help at all. I've faced some "soap opera" circumstances in my life and looking back I can truthfully say that I didn't rely on anyone else or ask anyone else for their help because I just knew that I had it under control. Was this the right attitude? Absolutely not! We are designed to need God and each other. That's how God means for it to be.

I'm getting better than I used to be. What does it take to improve? Lots of prayer and daily contact with my Jesus. God doesn't expect us to master our difficulties overnight. He understands it's a process. That's why we have the gift of prayer and His Word. Today I am so thankful that God understands me and is patient with me. I know that no matter how hardheaded or stubborn I can be He won't give up on me and He knows me so much better than I know myself.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Luke 7:23

"Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

I have found great strength in this verse lately. I've seen the verse so many times before but when I read it this past week it has really stuck with me and it's meaning has penetrated my heart. If you know me very well at all, you are not surprised by the fact that I hate, despise, and will avoid at all cost the act of being vulnerable. Just hearing the words or phrases, "be vulnerable", "share your feelings", "be real" scare me half to death. And, for as long as I can remember any time I've been hurt my reaction to these feelings has been to immediately shut them out and pretend as if they never happened all for the reason of not wanting to open myself up to the pain.

Recently, the Lord has been working on my heart and has been opening up old wounds that have not been healed properly. You see, by leaving the wounds unattended they become infected and then spread and eventually the symptoms of the infection spill out into your everyday life. They affect your actions, the words you speak, the decisions you make and the emotional shut down that I've experienced dramatically.

So, going back to Luke 7:23 and the whole reason I'm writing this blog post. In many of the hurts that have come my way I have blamed God for them. In a sense, by God allowing these things to happen to me he "has not lived up to my expectations" and I have been angry at Him for it. Look at the life of John the Baptist. John lived a total abandoned life to Christ. John left every human comfort behind so that he could pursue knowing Christ. His devotion to God was absolute. "He knew no family life, lived without entertainment, without friends, and without companionship. The thought of a wive, a home, or children never crossed his mind." Everything within John was soley for God and God alone. However, even though John's devotion to Christ was one of remarkable commitment some bad things happened to Him. He was misunderstood, mocked, beaten, thrown into prison and ultimately killed for the very things he lived so strongly for. In Luke 7:19, John had been thrown into the very depths of the prison and uttered one question for the Lord to answer, "are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" I can only imagine the deep need John had to know the answer to his one question. It was all he needed and wanted to know to keep him strong and focused during his imprisonment. These had to have been the darkest days of his life and he needed this answer - just a little bit of hope. But, instead of Christ giving John a straight answer he said to John's friends to go back and report to John the following, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO DOES NOT FALL AWAY ON ACCOUNT OF ME."

I don't know about you but a simple, "YES, I am the one" would have been a great answer for Jesus to give to John. In all honesty it really frustrates me that He didn't give this basic, straight forward answer especially after the life that John had lived for Christ. He gave everything and was so devoted to the work of Christ. It seems only fair that Christ would have answered with a definite answer.

But, so many times that is not how our God works. He gives metaphors, He tells stories, He puts the responsibility back on us to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling." To work out our salvation in fear and trembling is not telling us to live in doubt and anxiety; instead it's refering to us having an active reverance and singleness of purpose in respond to God's grace.

Through the many hardships and hurts that I have encountered (and continue to encounter) in my life I have thought that I've needed straight forward answers from God - answers to questions like "WHY ME?"; "What have I done to deserve this?"; "Haven't I been through enough?". And, the answer that has come in a whisper to me is this, "Blessed is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me." Don't miss the very first word in that verse - BLESSED!!

The greek word for blessed is, Makarios, meaning blessed, fortunate, happy, happier. The websters dictionary definition for blessed is consecrated, sacred, holy, sanctifed, worthy of adoration, divinely or supremely favored, blissfully happy or contented.

Let yourself think about this for a minute. Jesus is saying:

"Fortunate is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Happier is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Holy is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Worthy of adoration is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Divinely favored is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."

My favorite one is the last one that I wrote, "divinely favored is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me." Just sit in that for a minute - DIVINELY FAVORED!!

I know this has been such a long blog post, but please stay with me a little bit further. To think that Christ looks upon me in such a way saying that he divinely favors me gives me such determination to move forward in the tough times. It inspires me to process my pain in a way that will bring healing so that I can, through Christ, touch lives for the Kingdom. God used John the Baptist in such a profoud way. Many, despite the trials and tribulations that John faced, came to know Christ. John didn't fall away because of the hard times. Instead, he pressed on, he kept his focus, and he ultimately received his prize. And, blessed was John because he did not fall away on account of Christ. He didn't blame God - he counted it a privilege to endure the hard times in order that he might preach the Good News. We can know Christ at a much deeper level than anyone of us already do. When we process our pain, with Christ, He shows us a part of Him that no one else gets to see and a part that we, ourselves, have never experienced or seen.

I've been called, by Christ, for this season of my life to process my pain. He spoke so clearly to me saying "it's time to work through this." I'm finding that I am resisting it because as I alluded to before, I don't do vulnerability - and I really don't do opening myself up to the pain; but I am determined to process this pain and to not blame God for it. He has allowed it BUT He will redeem it - this I know for sure. So, I will not fall away on account of God. I will trust Him and I will claim that He does know what He's doing and that even though He doesn't quite give me the straight answers I would like for Him to - He is working and He is impressing on my heart the ability to find the answers and to accept that in some cases there will be no answers - but I can be healed despite of this.

I share these things, because I hope in some way they touch others. I want my life to be used for the Kingdom. Because you see, nothing else I do on this earth will matter. All that will matter is that I allowed God to live through me so that I could be a blessing to others. And, in order to do this properly I have to be willing to open myself up to the vulnerability.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Life Goals = Love Well & Serve Often

I have been so drawn to the Word these past few days. I love days/seasons/moments when I'm in the Word and the Holy Spirit is so alive and active in my heart and soul. Scripture seems to almost leap off the page as I'm reading and the words are the exact words my heart needs. I am in a group on Sunday nights that is studying the book of Philippians. Our first assignment is to go through the book and list the exhortations/commands that Paul gives to the Philippian church. Here are some of my thoughts so far:

Exhortations/Commands given by Paul to the Philippian Church

1. Let your love abound more and more (1:9)

2. Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel (1:27)
 
I think it’s interesting that the first exhortation/command given is for the church to love, and not only to love but to continue to grow in love and give out love more and more. That’s how it all got started anyway. God so loved the world. And, it seems in the following exhortations/commands he gives that they are given in ways that ultimately show and prove our love for ourselves, for others, and ultimately for Christ.

The next exhortation/command is that no matter what happens in your life that you be able to conduct (guide, behave, direct, lead, manage) yourself in a manner worthy of Christ. The greek word for conduct in this verse is translated “politeuomai”. I think it’s interesting that the word “polite” is a part of this translation. To conduct is to show regard to others in your speech and behavior. So, when Paul says to conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel he is saying it is your responsibility to tell yourself what to do! Be firm with yourself, say to yourself that no matter what has happened I am going to behave and lead myself in a way that ultimately brings glory to the gospel and my God to which I am called to serve. Another part of the greek translation is saying that as a part of conducting yourself you are to do so remembering that you are a citizen of Heaven and that you are to behave as a citizen.

Our behavior in the “whatever happens” category can be real and raw with emotion, and most often will be because that’s the natural response to hard things that come our way. But, what Paul is alluding to here is that even in those emotions we can honor God and even in the midst of the “whatever happens” we can be an example to those around us. And, as you remain in Christ your conduct will be worthy of the Gospel. Your conduct in the “whatever happens” category is a powerful testimony to the power, grace, mercy, and strength of Christ. We are not able to stand firm without Him. When the winds of life blow, they are more often than not hurricane force, and if we are not rooted in Christ we could be easily swept away. However, with our feet planted firmly in the strength and power of Christ we will not be moved.

One scholar writes, “Sensible persons instinctively recoil from making potentially disastrous decisions without considering reasons for and against the action they propose to take.” I take this to mean, that when “whatever happens” actually happens as believers we need to seriously consider the results of our words and behavior. Why? It doesn’t seem fair to have to consider others in our moments of deep hurt and pain. But, why not? Didn’t Christ do this for us? We have been fooled into thinking “it’s all about me”. Satan has taken the long time stand of trying to fool us into thinking that we were created for our own selves. This is so far from the truth, but because we’ve heard it for so long we have become believers in the lie of it being all about us.

So, the first two exhortations/commands we see tell us to love and to stay firm in Christ so that we can be an unhindered testimony for Him. The purpose of the Christian life lies in these two principles.


Love and Serve.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

be YOU!

A man got on an airplane and sat next to an incredibly beautiful woman. He was super attracted to her and got up the nerve to strike up a conversation with her and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" She said, "Sure, go ahead." He said, "What kind of men are women like you attracted to?" She said, "Well, to be honest with you, I just love native american men. They are handsome. They are strong and I just think they are incredibly sexy." She said, "But I also like irishmen. Irishmen are bold and courageous and opinionated and that is really attractive to me." She said, "But I also like good old boys from the south. They are just so sweet and courteous and kind. I find them very appealing." The man didn't say anything for a moment and then she said, "By the way, what is your name?" He said, "Well, my name is Geronimo O'Reilly, but my friends call me Bubba."
If there is one thing, especially us girls need to stop doing, is worrying about what other people think of us and letting them determine our self image. It's been said that at age 20 we worry what people think about us, at 40 we don't care what people think about us, and at 60 we find out that nobody has been thinking about us. So, why in the world do we allow what we "think" other people "think" about us to determine our worth?

You are the only YOU that there is and that is a very special thing. A great piece of advice is this, "be who you is, because if you is who you ain't, you ain't who you is."

YOU, be yourself!! You are the unique self that God made you to be and He is proud of how He has made you and loves you just as you are.

Psalm 139:14, "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I love this verse and I think reading at first glance we can each say, "Yes, I am made by God and He made me just the way I should be." However, we stop before we read the end of the verse where it says, "I know that full well." Do we really know it full well? Have we really embraced who we are in Christ and accepted it fully? If not, that's something that needs to be established in our hearts and souls so that we can move beyond the identity crisis and do the work, confidently, that God has called us to do.

Friday, March 23, 2012

My Benediction to the book of James

I completed Beth Moores study on the book of James this morning and as I finished I began to journal and the following words came so quickly to my paper. It was a divine moment where I truly felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me and one of those moments that I wish I had a lot more of. I hope you are blessed by the message that was laid on my heart.

Why do we think a 2000 square foot home, a 2012 luxury car, the latest technology, or the latest and greatest clothing styles will make us happy and fulfilled? Life isn’t about being comfortable or having everything the exact way we want it. It’s about ministry.  It’s about getting our hands dirty and our feet calloused from carrying the gospel to the utter most parts of the earth. Our heritage of faith lies in the laps of many followers of Christ that had no other closer friend than Jesus, and no consistent place to lay their precious heads until they reached heaven’s doors. Why do we think we are entitled to more than that? We are strangers and called aliens on this earth. We want more because we are made with that natural yearning. But the more that we want is not what we think it is. It’s not having more stuff, more money, more friends – NO, it’s about seeing that one more person come to Christ, it’s about giving one more dollar to a child that has no food or clean water to drink, it’s about giving one more minute or hour of our day to someone hurting and praying that God would supply their deepest need. And, it’s ultimately about wanting more than ever to reach our final resting place, our ultimate destination – Heaven! It’s about wanting more than anything else for the day to come quicker where we can see the precious face of Jesus and worship Him personally at his feet.

I want more than anything for my life to be focused on wanting more of the right things. As I’ve completed the last day of the Beth Moore, James study this morning I’m left wanting so much more. And, I’m excited that what I’m wanting more of, is not something of this world that will fade quickly, but it’s that I want more of Jesus. I want more than anything to be used for His glory, and to be an example, to even just one person, that Jesus is worthy of our lives.  

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

C.R.A.V.E

Our church has just gone through a 6 week series titled, "CRAVE". It was a very timely series for me and God has stretched me and taught me so much more than I went in to it thinking He would.

We talked about 6 different things that each of us tend to CRAVE in our lives.

1. Direction
2. Significance
3. Relationships
4. Belonging
5. Anwers to Why
6. Hope

1 Peter 2:1-3 - "Therefore"
The "therefore" refers back to 1 Peter 1:23-25 where it states, "For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For, “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever.” And this is the word that was preached to you."

Because we have accepted salvation through the Word of God and because this Word is living, active, and will stand forever we should do what it says in 1 Peter 2:1-3, "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

I'm hoping to blog about each of the 6 points above over the next few days/weeks and really dive into what I've learned from each point. But, for now I'll share the place where I'm starting. In craving - direction, significance, relationships, belonging, answers to why and hope - I must first begin with craving Christ himself. He is the answer to each of these six things. In order to satisfy our cravings we NEED Christ. Left to ourselves we tend to be misguided but when guided by Christ we find direction, significance, relationship, belonging, answers to why and hope.

Isaiah 58:11, "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." If we chose to guide ourselves we will be the complete opposite of what this verse offers. We will be dry and weak. And, that is not God's design for us. I don't know about you but I want an overflowing, purposeful life and that is exactly what God is offering.
I find myself in a really neat place spiritually where I'm truly craving more of Christ and I'm eager and excited about lies ahead. I'm excited about progressing to this next level of maturity and closeness with Christ.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Granny

We spent our Saturday up in Lancaster throwing a surprise birthday party for my granny! She turned 80 years old this past Friday. She amazes me with her strength and her determination to keep on going. She's an awesome lady with a huge God-story!! Her faithfulness to the Lord and total reliance on Him is inspiring. I love her with my whole heart!!
Uncle Mike (momma's oldest brother) fixing up some yummy food!! He deep-fried fish, hushpuppies, and french fries. He made catfish stew and grilled hamburgers and hotdogs for everybody. It was some yummy yummy eating!!! :)
Granny gets her water from a well and her pump went out so I had the job of carting whoever needed to go potty up to my Uncle's house.. LOL.. :)
Granny, Momma, Uncle Alan, Uncle Mike and Uncle Donnie!! My good-looking family! :)


That's what I'm talking about!! YUMMY Hushpuppies!

My Uncles fixing granny's well pump.. luckily they had it all fixed before the end of the day.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

AWESOME NEWS

I've been interviewing for a new position at the SC Baptist Convention for the past couple of months and I'm SOOOO HAPPY to say that I've been offered the position and have accepted!!! I will now be working for the Executive Director of our Convention as his Executive Assistant. I will be beginning in the next week or so and really can't wait. This type of work will be similiar - but different - from my work in Dean of Theology's office at Southwestern Seminary. I have missed this type of work so much and although I'm going in knowing that there will be challenges I am still extrememely excited and thankful that God has provided this position for me.

4th of July Weekend

We headed out to Dreher Island at Lake Murray last night to watch the fireworks show and spend the day playing at the lake. We had a blast hanging out with friends and spending the day relaxing. The kids played so hard and swam all day long until it was time to get cleaned up and watch the fireworks show.

Here's the kiddo's all cleaned up, eating some watermelon and playing before the show started.The kiddos playing in the lake. One lady there had her dog and the boys LOVED playing with her dog in the lake. Joshua enjoyed throwing his tennis ball and watching the dog swim to get it.The kids found a dragonfly. It was HILARIOUS!!! The only one willing to pick it up was the little girl and when she went to pick it up the boys screamed and jumped back.Rodney waiting for the show... Me enjoying the time to just sit and watch the kids play!FIREWORKS!!! It really was an awesome show and Dreher Island is the place to see them at the lake. They shot them off right in front of us. You could see the sparks on the ground from where they shot them and when they went off they were right over us. It was GREAT!!!

Beach Vacation

We just got back from an awesome family vacation with my side of the family. There were 16 of us which included my uncles, cousins, granny, momma, me, Rodney and Joshua. We had a BLAST hanging out with everybody and enjoying some time on the beach. This is the first time ever that we've all been able to go on a big family vacation and it's the start of many more. And, hopefully next time even more of the family can come.

My Uncle put up a volleyball net ouside the house we stayed in and we enjoyed a bunch of "friendly" volleyball games... LOL.. My poor team had a blast playing but we didn't do so well on the winning part... It was so much fun though.

Here's where I'm doing exactly what I LOVE to do at the beach... We would lay out for an hour or so and then go play in the waves and come back and lay down more and do it all over again. A few cute family shots! I can't pass up photo opportunities. :)
Me and the love of my life!
Me and the other love of my life!
My Momma!Playing Just Dance on the Wii with my uncles girlfriend. This was A LOT of fun with everybody sitting around watching. We had a group of us rotating in and out and playing the winner of each round.
My cousin Chris and his dad's girlfriend competing.
Martina, Granny, Uncle Alan and Joshua
Me, Amy, Martina, Granny
Joshua and Uncle Alan
Granny, Amy, Chris
Uncle Donnie soaking up some sun... a little too much I might add because he was quite sunburnt and hurting after this day. :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day

We started off Rodney's father's day weekend with a father/son home depot project. They made a really cool mini tool box together.
After doing the project and grabbing some lunch we decided to go downtown to Riverfront Park and spend the afternoon hiking and playing down by the river. Every time I go down to this park I wonder why I don't visit it more often. It's a lot of fun and a really nice place for Joshua to explore. Joshua had a blast going on the trails and using his binoculars to find things.

At the very end of the trail there's a neat place you can go out into the water at. There's a little spillway there (Joshua says it's a waterfall) and the water feels amazing after you've been walking and hiking out in the hot sun. Rocket was extremely happy for us to finally sit still and let him rest in the cool water.
Here's a few snapshots of us on the trails...

Rocket totally protesting the walk back to the car. It's 2.5 miles to this part of the park and then you have to turn around and walk 2.5 miles back to the entrance. Next time I think we'll just park down at this end of the park and play in the water instead of hiking. Joshua and Rocket loved this part of the day.


A very happy Joshua!! Any time he can get near water he's a happy boy! :)







After we took our nature walk for the afternoon (which ended up taking 3 hours) we headed home to get cleaned up and took Rodney out to dinner at his favorite restaurant and then went out for ice cream. We had a blast hanging out and just being outside together and are planning to head up to the mountains some time soon to see some more cool trails. We want to find a nice place where we can hike to a waterfall. So, if you have any cool places that you've been to let me know.

Happy Father's Day Weekend everyone!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

here lately....

Hello Everybody!

Summer break (for Joshua) is well under way. He started summer camp at our church this past week and has had a really good time so far. Except for the one day he decided he was not going... but, what do you expect when he's getting used to a new place? Just got to take some of these things as they come and get over them when they're done. No need hanging on to them and making a bigger deal out of them. I have to remind myself of this, pretty much daily, so that I can remain as sane as possible. (haha)

ANYWHO... Like I said Joshua is going to summer camp at our church and he gets to go on weekly field trips, and he gets to go swimming at the country club once a week. They have an awesome program set up for the kids where they can really have fun and experience a little summer fun and not just be in their classroom all summer long. This past Tuesday he got to take his scooter to camp with him and they had a time for the kids to ride them out in the open parking lot and had some police officers come and talk about safety. So, I'm pretty excited about him being in the program and having the kid interaction over the summer.

This past weekend we went up to see my mom and celebrate her birthday. We spent the day doing her favorite thing.. fishing! We went down to my uncle's land and fished, rode 4-wheelers and then went swimming a little later down at his house. It was a nice relaxed, laid back kind of day. I've posted a few pictures.

Rocket had a blast playing with my uncle's golden retriever. It was cute watching them play. Joshua didn't like it AT ALL at first because he thought Daisy was trying to hurt Rocket. I had to convince him that's just the way they play.
Joshua chilling out, waiting on us to catch a big fish so he could claim it as his. He cracks me up!
I love this picture. My momma is so fun and laid back. She was just laying there and waiting for a fish to bite her hook and the dogs came over to play.
Rocket trying to figure out what to do with the fish!!
Rocket checking out our catch for the day!
Here's the only thing I caught.. LOL... just my luck
Me and Joshua riding around on the 4-wheeler.
We had a fantastic day. Of course we always do when we go up to visit momma. It's so much fun there with all the different things we can get into. But, I'm most thankful that I got to spend her birthday with her. Those years we were in Texas were hard when we missed these celebrations with family. Being able to do these things really makes me feel blessed since I know what it feels like to miss them due to distance.