Luke 7:23

"Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

I have found great strength in this verse lately. I've seen the verse so many times before but when I read it this past week it has really stuck with me and it's meaning has penetrated my heart. If you know me very well at all, you are not surprised by the fact that I hate, despise, and will avoid at all cost the act of being vulnerable. Just hearing the words or phrases, "be vulnerable", "share your feelings", "be real" scare me half to death. And, for as long as I can remember any time I've been hurt my reaction to these feelings has been to immediately shut them out and pretend as if they never happened all for the reason of not wanting to open myself up to the pain.

Recently, the Lord has been working on my heart and has been opening up old wounds that have not been healed properly. You see, by leaving the wounds unattended they become infected and then spread and eventually the symptoms of the infection spill out into your everyday life. They affect your actions, the words you speak, the decisions you make and the emotional shut down that I've experienced dramatically.

So, going back to Luke 7:23 and the whole reason I'm writing this blog post. In many of the hurts that have come my way I have blamed God for them. In a sense, by God allowing these things to happen to me he "has not lived up to my expectations" and I have been angry at Him for it. Look at the life of John the Baptist. John lived a total abandoned life to Christ. John left every human comfort behind so that he could pursue knowing Christ. His devotion to God was absolute. "He knew no family life, lived without entertainment, without friends, and without companionship. The thought of a wive, a home, or children never crossed his mind." Everything within John was soley for God and God alone. However, even though John's devotion to Christ was one of remarkable commitment some bad things happened to Him. He was misunderstood, mocked, beaten, thrown into prison and ultimately killed for the very things he lived so strongly for. In Luke 7:19, John had been thrown into the very depths of the prison and uttered one question for the Lord to answer, "are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" I can only imagine the deep need John had to know the answer to his one question. It was all he needed and wanted to know to keep him strong and focused during his imprisonment. These had to have been the darkest days of his life and he needed this answer - just a little bit of hope. But, instead of Christ giving John a straight answer he said to John's friends to go back and report to John the following, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO DOES NOT FALL AWAY ON ACCOUNT OF ME."

I don't know about you but a simple, "YES, I am the one" would have been a great answer for Jesus to give to John. In all honesty it really frustrates me that He didn't give this basic, straight forward answer especially after the life that John had lived for Christ. He gave everything and was so devoted to the work of Christ. It seems only fair that Christ would have answered with a definite answer.

But, so many times that is not how our God works. He gives metaphors, He tells stories, He puts the responsibility back on us to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling." To work out our salvation in fear and trembling is not telling us to live in doubt and anxiety; instead it's refering to us having an active reverance and singleness of purpose in respond to God's grace.

Through the many hardships and hurts that I have encountered (and continue to encounter) in my life I have thought that I've needed straight forward answers from God - answers to questions like "WHY ME?"; "What have I done to deserve this?"; "Haven't I been through enough?". And, the answer that has come in a whisper to me is this, "Blessed is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me." Don't miss the very first word in that verse - BLESSED!!

The greek word for blessed is, Makarios, meaning blessed, fortunate, happy, happier. The websters dictionary definition for blessed is consecrated, sacred, holy, sanctifed, worthy of adoration, divinely or supremely favored, blissfully happy or contented.

Let yourself think about this for a minute. Jesus is saying:

"Fortunate is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Happier is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Holy is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Worthy of adoration is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."
"Divinely favored is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me."

My favorite one is the last one that I wrote, "divinely favored is the man (woman) who does not fall away on account of me." Just sit in that for a minute - DIVINELY FAVORED!!

I know this has been such a long blog post, but please stay with me a little bit further. To think that Christ looks upon me in such a way saying that he divinely favors me gives me such determination to move forward in the tough times. It inspires me to process my pain in a way that will bring healing so that I can, through Christ, touch lives for the Kingdom. God used John the Baptist in such a profoud way. Many, despite the trials and tribulations that John faced, came to know Christ. John didn't fall away because of the hard times. Instead, he pressed on, he kept his focus, and he ultimately received his prize. And, blessed was John because he did not fall away on account of Christ. He didn't blame God - he counted it a privilege to endure the hard times in order that he might preach the Good News. We can know Christ at a much deeper level than anyone of us already do. When we process our pain, with Christ, He shows us a part of Him that no one else gets to see and a part that we, ourselves, have never experienced or seen.

I've been called, by Christ, for this season of my life to process my pain. He spoke so clearly to me saying "it's time to work through this." I'm finding that I am resisting it because as I alluded to before, I don't do vulnerability - and I really don't do opening myself up to the pain; but I am determined to process this pain and to not blame God for it. He has allowed it BUT He will redeem it - this I know for sure. So, I will not fall away on account of God. I will trust Him and I will claim that He does know what He's doing and that even though He doesn't quite give me the straight answers I would like for Him to - He is working and He is impressing on my heart the ability to find the answers and to accept that in some cases there will be no answers - but I can be healed despite of this.

I share these things, because I hope in some way they touch others. I want my life to be used for the Kingdom. Because you see, nothing else I do on this earth will matter. All that will matter is that I allowed God to live through me so that I could be a blessing to others. And, in order to do this properly I have to be willing to open myself up to the vulnerability.