soooo lost

Well, my hubby is leaving in an hour to meet the group at the church leaving for Nicaragua. He'll be on a plane at 6am in the morning heading out of the country. I'm so excited for what God is going to do through this team as they are ministering to the people in Nica. But, I also know this year will be a bittersweet time for Rodney. Two years ago we were getting ready to adopt a precious baby girl born there. She was so beautiful. We started the process and soon found out she was very sick, so sick that the US would not allow us to adopt her. We tried all we could to get her here. But, nothing worked. We had even been given the awesome privlege to name her. Her legal name was Renee Grace Williams. When Rodney visits this time he will visit Renee Grace's grave. She would have been 2 years old January 1 of 2007. She had a condition called hydracephalis (i'm sure that's not spelled right). This basically means she had water on her brain, and that half of her brain did not develop correctly. Because the shunts did not work when they didn't surgery to remove the water from her brain, her head just kept swelling and getting larger. From all the pressure building she was slowing dying. I can't even begin to explain the feelings of loss that I experienced. I felt like my own flesh and blood had been ripped to pieces as I had to sit back and be totally helpless through this whole situation. I do praise God that she is completely healed and happy now... but part of me still longs for my little girl.

If you get a chance just say a prayer for Rodney as he visits her grave. I know it's going to be really tough on him. He had actually been able to go to Nicaragua before and had held her and met her personally. I've only known her through pictures and phone calls.