Courtney Update

Hey Everybody! You have no idea how much your love and concern for us right now has blessed and encouraged me. We are doing ok. Yesterday was my last day teaching the middle school sunday school class, so that was difficult. I've taught sunday school in the youth department for the past 6 years and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself on sunday mornings since we still have to go to church there until Nov. 11. Which is another issue I'm totally confused about all the way around.

I am doing better and know that God is in Control!! And, thanks for all the reminders letting me know that. You know how it is when you are in the middle of a huge storm.. you just tend to forget God is in Control and need those little reminders along the way.

My relationship with God is really growing so much stronger during this time. I find myself just clinging to His Word and His promises for my life constantly. He is my rock and my safe place right now and I just love Him so much for being here with me.

Pray for Rodney. He is having back problems and will have to go see a back surgeon at the end of September. He's in a lot of pain by the end of the day so just pray for him as he is dealing with this pain and the stress from having to find a job. He is such wonderul, awesome husband and I just hate that he has all of this on him at once.

Hanging On

Please pray for us tomorrow. We have a realtor coming to look at our house tomorrow afternoon. I am totally not looking forward to this for the simple fact of I'm not ready to let go of my home. I hate having to do this, but we have no choice. With Rodney's pay ending in November there is no way with all our other bills that we can keep the house. So, please please pray for us. This is so hard!! Anytime I think of moving it brings back bad memories from my childhood and I really don't want all that stuff resurfacing.

My Little Swimmer

Joshua has begun to swim on his own!! I can't believe it. We have him wear his floaty bathing suit (pictured above) when he is in the water and he used to hang on to us and would not dare let go. But, we were in the pool Monday night and he decided he had enough of having to hold on to us and he let go and started kicking and moving all around the pool himself. He was so stinkin cute! We've been in the pool every night this week so far and he is doing great. He loves to turn around in circles and swim to the sides. I'm so proud of him. He just amazes me everyday at all the new stuff he is trying! I love being a mommy!!!!

HELP LORD, HELP

Lord, we’ve got a lot going on right now. So much that I just have no clue where to even begin with it all. I am simply at a complete loss as to what, when, where, why and how. I haven’t been in this sort of position before and I honestly don’t want to be here now. But, I am.

But, understanding and fully believing that my life is in your hands I have to trust that you know what you are doing. I was reading in one of my devotional books that, “your strength is not dependant on you or the size of your faith. It is dependant on the size of your God. He is your strength.” If I’ve ever needed you, it’s right now. I’ve got to have you as my strength during this whole process or I’m not going to make it. My focus, emotions, understanding and just everything about me is so messed up right now. I have no clue which way to turn and I know that in order to make the decisions that need to be made during the next couple of months I’ve got to rely on you. I’ve got to know that you are in control.

Tough Times

Everything is official now and reality is starting to set in. Rodney resigned from the youth ministry at Sandy Level yesterday. It feels so weird knowing we won't be there anymore. The youth are all shocked and some are pretty angry about the whole situation. I wish there was something more I could do for them, but I'm not even sure how to deal with all of this myself. I keep telling myself that God is in control! And, even though it sounds simple, it's really what's getting me through this so far. I have no idea what our future holds. This is not something we saw coming so it's hard to know what to do or where to go.

Please remember us in your prayers. I think our next step is to get our house on the market and try to sale it. We need to begin eliminating some dept since Rodney's pay stops in November. Also, pray that we won't give up and that we will daily remember God is in this! We want His will for our lives, wherever that may be.

New Covenant Ministry / Point #1

I'm starting a new study in the book of 2 Corinthians. I'm looking at 2 Cor. 2:14-7:1. In this portion of Scripture it is outlining New Covenant Ministry. It gives 8 different points to new covenant ministry and I'm taking them one by one and studying the points in depth.

# 1: New Covenant Ministry is Triumphant (2:14-17)

My First Reaction to these verses:
THANK goodness God is On My Side!!! Thanks be to God that it is Him who leads us and equips us to be witnesses. Paul asked the question, “who is sufficient for these things?” And then says, “we are not.” We cannot do this on our own. We must rely upon the power of Christ working in and through us. But, we must not only rely on Him; we must live our faith out with sincerity, being truly committed to the call of Christ. (2 Cor. 2:17)

I believe this is saying that yes, we had life before. We were living, breathing beings. But, as a believer we have been brought into a new life, a life that will last forever. Without Christ we would not have the life “sufficient” enough for doing the purposes and will of God. But, with Christ we are sufficient. It states it this way in 2 Corinthians 3:6, saying that, “God has made us competent to be ministers.” The definition of competent is, ‘having suitable or sufficient skill, knowledge, experience for some purpose, fit, capable.’ Meaning, now we’ve been brought into this relationship with Christ and we now understand what “real life” is all about.

We have just enough knowledge, experience that we need to live the Christian life victoriously right now. Yes, there are more experiences to come and more circumstances that will arise, but we can always trust that we are competent ministers because WHO we have in us makes us sufficient.

I absolutely love that this is the first point to new covenant ministry. It means to me that no matter what the other points are, no matter how hard things might get, I'll always be triumphant in Christ. My life will be successful in Christ Jesus because it is Him living in and through me.

2 year old + Restaurant = Total Disaster

I tell ya what I'm not taking Joshua back out to a restaurant until he is 30!!! I try to give him credit and think he'll do ok, but it always ends up in disaster. He ends up screaming, getting out of his chair, running around, or something. My sister in law's birthday is today and her husband was throwing a surprise party for her so we were all there and when we sat down to eat Joshua was just awful. So, I got up and tried to calm him down but he was having none of that. So, we came home.

Oh well... guess it's good ol' homecookin for a while. Because I'm definitely not doing that again for a long long time. :)

wheewwww... just had to get that off my chest! : )

Reliance upon God

PSALM 56

Verse 8: "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle."

This is a huge comfort to me right now. Knowing that God cares enough to catch my tears and hold them in his hand. In my Bible notes it says that sometimes, in the ancient East, mourners would catch their tears in bottles and place them at the tombs of their loved ones. I really believe God mourns with us, cries with us, and his heart breaks when our heart breaks. He is our Father and when a father sees his child hurting, he hurts too. I picture my Heavenly Father comforting me and reassuring me and at the same time telling the ones trying to come up against me to leave me alone. Enough is enough! Why is it that people like to attack you for no specific reason? They just think it's ok to hurt you because you're not the way they want you to be.

I'll tell you something right now though, I'm getting just about sick of it and am getting to the point where I want to fight back. I wonder if that's not why David says at the very beginning of Psalm 56 and 57, "Be gracious to me, O God; Be merciful to me, O God". I think David might be saying, ok Lord, I'm ready to take these people out on my own BUT please be gracious and merciful to me as I have these thoughts and help me to remember You are in control. It's so easy to want to take things into your own control, but you know what, I'm not going to do that in this situation. I'm going to let God deal with these people. I'm going to let him fix this situation. The only thing I need to focus on right now is keeping myself and my attitude in such a way that will bring honor and glory to Christ when all is said and done.

Praise you in this Storm (live)

The Storm Is Coming

Have you ever stood off and watched a storm approach?? It's a really neat thing as you sit there and watch the clouds move closer and closer bringing the rain, wind, lightening, thunder, etc, while right where you are standing it's calm and dry. Yes, you know the storm is coming... you can see it.. the wind is starting to blow a little harder and you can feel the mist from the hard rain heading your way. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the storm in my life right now. It hasn't hit full force yet, but it's inevitable, I'm going to get wet really soon. I can't disclose what's happening just yet but I'm writing this pleading with you to please pray for me. The days ahead are going to be very stormy and I hate storms. I don't do well with them at all. Pray that I will remember I'm not alone in the storm, that God is with me and will not leave me no matter how hard things seem.

Something Familiar

Anytime we are away from home Joshua likes for me or Rodney to sleep with him. I got to thinking about that last night when I was laying in bed and here is what I thought.

When we are in familiar territory we feel safe and secure and don’t really need any affirmation in that respect because we just know it’s there. However, as soon as something changes, whether it be a circumstance we find ourselves in or a change in our surroundings we become insecure almost immediately. We want something familiar to give us our security back.

You know, God is our something familiar. Everywhere we go and no matter how many changes we go through he’s always there. He doesn’t change. He invites us into the security that only he can offer, so that no matter what we may face we can do so knowing that nothing can ever overtake us because we are children of the King of kings.

Joshua Moments

BEDTIME STORIES
Me and Joshua were laying in bed this morning and he had woke up before I did, so all of a sudden I felt something tickling my nose. I opened my eyes and he was taking the corner of his blankey and rubbing it against my nose saying, "sleep momma". When he gets tired or ready for bed Joshua always grabs his blankey and sucks his thumb and holds the corner of the blankey up to his nose and rubs it. So, I guess he thought since I was still sleeping this morning I needed the blankey.

Joshua never has trouble sleeping in his own bed at home, but whenever we are away from home he always wants me to sleep with him. I'm actually kindof enjoying it because I'm getting to experience all this silly stuff he's doing. The other night we were laying there and he started poking my head with his finger, I asked him what he wanted and he said, "mommy, booboo, Kiss". He had a little booboo on his finger and he just had to have it kissed before he could go to sleep. :) I tell ya he is a HOOT!!! I love it when we first get into bed and he looks over at me with his cute "serious" face and says "night night momma... go sleep". I tried to get out of bed one night because I couldn't sleep and as soon as I stood up he sat straight up in the bed and looked at me and said, "momma" and then he patted my pillow telling me to get back in bed.

ADVENTURE STORY
We were outside last night and he was playing with my niece and nephew and they found a lizard so they caught it and put it in their little bug cage. Well, Joshua got the idea that the lizard needs to eat so he started making everybody find little bugs for the lizard to eat. He would not stop until his mission was accomplished. We found some bugs, and a frog in the process that Joshua chased around the backyard until it finally got away from him. :) We gave the lizard his bugs and Joshua sat and was just amazed at watching the lizard eat.

I'm so blessed with such a wonderful son! I can't even begin to explain the love I have for him. He's my little miracle!!! I love exploring with him and watching him. He has a very strong determination that blows my mind. Just like with the bugs last night, he wasn't stopping until that lizard had just enough bugs to eat.

That's my little man for ya!!

I Miss My Man

It's Day 2 without my husband!! booohoooooo I miss my man so stinkin much. I talked to him about an hour ago. Him and the team were doing fine. The Nicaragua government turns the power out in certain areas at night to save on energy so Rodney said it was very dark, but they have some generators where they are staying so they will have lights soon. :) I wrote him a letter for everyday he's gone so he's enjoying opening those up each day. I put pictures of Joshua in each envelope too. So, I know he's going to enjoy that.

Pictures of Renee Grace

This is Rodney and Renee Grace last summer (2006).

This was Renee Grace's bed. It's so neat to see how the Nicaraguan culture is. I got to go during the summer of 2004. It's really an eye opening trip.We really don't realize how good we've got it here in America.

Renee Grace was just a couple days old when this picture was taken. The lady holding her took care of her until Renee passed away. See the "sooo lost" post to find out more about Renee Grace.

safe and sound

Rodney and the mission team have landed safely in Nicaragua. YEA!! It always makes me so nervous when he has to fly. He called and said everybody is doing great and that they were going to get some rest. I'm at my in-laws house for the next 10 days while he is away. So far, it's been really good. Joshua is doing very well and sleeping all night... so YEA for me. I get to rest too.

I'm so excited to hear about what they are going to be doing. Rodney is suppose to call as much as possible. I tell ya, I sure do miss my man already!! :( It's going to be a long 10 days.