My Passion

We watched a video at church sunday night about a girl named Kim Jones. Kim was killed by a gunman who entered her church during a see you at the pole celebration in 1999. Kim's story and her passion was so huge. Seeing how she truly served and loved the Lord stopped me dead in my tracks. Everytime you would see her in the video she had a huge smile on her face. You could tell she had the joy of the Lord all over her. She lived her life here on earth but so many of her friends said her heart was always in heaven. When speaking about her relationship with the Lord one of her friends said that Kim didn't pray just to get answers from God, she prayed simply because she wanted to be with Him and she didn't read her bible to gain more knowledge, she read it so she could be with Jesus, in His presence. They said any time a worship service was going on Kim was always there. She never missed an opportunity to worship and serve our awesome God.

While watching the video I could hear the Lord whispering to my heart, "that used to be you, Courtney." Wow! It really did. I can remember back to my high school days where all I wanted was to be at church or doing something to serve God. And, then when the Lord placed a call into ministry on my life I couldn't wait to get started. That passion carried me through so much and looking back I see how the joy of the Lord was all over me. I was the girl that everyone knew would be at church if something was going on.

I've come a long way since then. I'm not sure at what point it happened but slowly over the past couple of years my joy has begun to disappear. I've gone to church because I had to not because I was excited to go. It has felt more like a chore to me and that smile I used to always have is gone as well.

Watching this video on sunday has really stopped me and got me to thinking about my walk with Christ. I do love Him and I want to serve Him with my whole heart. That's truly what my life is all about. I've just got some things to work out and I've got some things I need to let go of with God's help. I've seen the need for this "cleaning out" in my life but now that God has totally confronted me with it I see that I truly do want to change and become my joyful self again and I want to let go of all those things that are holding me back. I know with the help of my Savior, my Father... my Daddy I can be revived and renewed into the person He has called me to be.